I don’t try for you.
you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.
but I’ll never tell. You have had me interested since the day you showed interest. But we don’t speak. I admire you and then come to think about how you’re too perfect for a guy like me, maybe not. But I’ve become the master of keeping people away. Regardless, you seem happy. Is it bad that I envy his position as the one you love? The one you have been with for two years? I think it is, I just stay away and spectate.
I don’t even know what I would say to you if things went sour. I don’t see that happening. What really gets me is those remarkable blue eyes. I couldn’t imagine how beautiful they are in person. I sound like a creep. Or someone that’s tired of being alone..
it was a burning confession of mine.
I’ll treat the situation like I always have and pretend like I don’t care.
is it fun seeing someone at the weakest point they could be?
aren’t you happy?
before you I honestly forgot what that feels like.
but, it doesn’t matter.
I was another face, you destroyed me.
I fixed everything and more and I cannot help to notice that your end is falling apart. You said you’re lonesome, but you ended it with me. It didn’t take long for you to push me away. I’m better now.
Maybe we should do people correctly and maybe karma won’t fuck things up. You had no idea I was willing to do anything. I wonder If I cross your mind from time to time? Who cares, probably not.
I learned that day to keep your face out of my mind. I don’t even know who you are anymore. With that being said, I think things are better this way. I don’t want to see the real you anymore, it’s a fake face that everyone enjoys. I said my goodbyes months ago as you wet making new plans with Someone better. You said it wasn’t me, it was you.. But.. In my gut I feel a deeper reasoning that will never be revealed. It’s okay, I’ll wait and watch as you go from place to place destroying everything you touch. I’m just glad it’s not me anymore.
I’m convinced it doesn’t matter how many drugs or what I do.
the thoughts will never stop. I feel insane. I just want this feeling to stop.
There is a new video up talking about how NASA’s SARA group made contact with an “Alien” intelligence back in ‘93, that they don’t know where they are communicating from, and that the SARA team has figured out a message from them of a great warning for our planet. You can read the entire post here. Here is the video though: gFSPWC8TKnk Is this just fear mongering, another psy-op or a real event we are about to experience?
It’s a tarp, trap.
Wearing your heart on your sleeve is a trap.
I hate being lied too..
Is what keeps me awake with such thoughts.
I’m constantly analyzing everything.
I don’t sleep anymore. I dream of sleep. It’s the closest to death without dying, I would assume.
My thoughts baffle me.
I sometimes wish people saw the world the way I do, just for a day.
And give me something to hold onto.
Why don’t you get lost with me until the mornings dawn. Skip sleep to be happy the next day because of the magnificent night we spent together.
I think affection is more addicting than any drug, I guess it depends on the person.
It is definitely craved.
I know it isn’t wrong of me to have lust for things I can’t have or have yet to experience, but damn its getting uncomfortable.
I have ‘dreams’ or ‘visions’ of me making someone rediculously happy.
I’m pretty aware of the capabilities that I poses, maybe someday it’ll be worth it.
Good guys finish last.
Please just save me from this darkness.
I’ve finally decided to stop.
But, I cannot help to remember the best times I thought I had forgotten.
I can forget again.
I’m the silly one. I should of been used to it by now. I’ll do what I’ve learned the best and just keep going.
Could I say it’s difficult to not look back?
Why would I even wake up?
It’s not like I get to jump out of bed and open presents or spend time with biological family, or anyone for that matter.
I’m not even happy.
I get to go through my whole day seeing everyone so happy and great, it makes me sad.
Even you’ll have someone to be with..
I don’t loath anything anymore.
I’m so blind and stupid. I really wish I was, so I wouldn’t have to understand
Sigh, I’m not certain how much longer I can do this anymore.
Why can’t it all just end?
I am so beyond the limit of over thinking.
I cannot even begin to decribe the feels.
It’s another cold lonely night on Christmas eve and I’m stuck in insanity. I keep thinking and thinking and never do anything about anything. Its fucking driving me insane.
I don’t even know why I open my mouth..
I’ve been over convinced that my feelings do not matter to anything or pertain to anyone. So lost, so confused. Speechless more than ever.
I’m starting to hate holidays and being older, i wish it wasn’t like that.
I don’t know how things got so bad.
I just wanted you.
I’m never going to be worth it to anyone or good enough, at least in my head.